I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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