help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
