i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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