Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
that is very illegal...i love you.
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