did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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