dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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