my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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