Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
