dude i'm inner monologue high
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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