Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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