he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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