also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I party with great urgency now.
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