So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize