If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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