last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
