if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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