I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
