Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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