i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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