I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
