why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
