You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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