just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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