I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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