I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
