I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
