so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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