new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
