the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
