I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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