Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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