I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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