On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
