took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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