with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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