Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
