hell yes lets make some ravioli
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
