We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
and you fell through a lawn chair
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
