I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
