ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize