he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
