Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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