Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
