I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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