never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
