You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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