dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
