Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize