its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
