Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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