yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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