Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Small penises have feelings too.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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