just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
