I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
her vagine was all disorganized.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dear god my vagina.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
