I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
