NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize