oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
