at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
