ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
