We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
