Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
