I'm gonna have a badass scar
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
